Sunday, May 1, 2011

A failure and a new beginning

B and I are done.

He's dating Lu.

I was a fool to think polyamory could last when the primary relationship was built on sand.

I kicked him out, but for financial reason, i've allowed Lu to stay here.

Until I have at least 2 of the 3 things needed things to move ( Place to go, a job in that area, and the money to finance things) I'm stuck here, biding my time.

I've never been more physically lonely and yet surrounded by 'friendly' faces.

I've been surrounded by my Spirit Guides and friends, my Gods, and my Guardian Angel has finally revealed Himself to me in full form (I still can't believe how dense I can be sometimes. I mean, come on, I've always said Michealangelo was my Guardian, but never would allow myself to actually BELIEVE in Angels. What better way to appeal to the staunch agnostic than to take the form of her favorite Turtle.)

Therapy on Monday will mark the ending of one of the LONGEST weeks of my life... I've cried more times in the last week than I have in a year. The only things keeping me going are WoW (which I finally got into after many years of avoiding it), and the multitude of occult studies I'm now free to indulge in at my leisure. I just don't know where to start.

My heart is still broken, but the bleeding has slowed, the pieces have been gathered up, and carefully wrapped in gauze.

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