By What Right?

"Why would you do that?" I asked, truly appalled at what Darth A-Hole had just blithely told me.

"Because I can." As if it was that simple and I was an idiot for not knowing in the first place.

If that's his life philosophy, I can see why he's managed to get so much going his way, in spite of the fact that he's a lazy, ignorant, abusive, conniving, sneaky little weasel.

What about those of us with moral compasses? "Because I Can" is NOT fucking excuse for being a douchebag. Unfortunately, as B pointed out to me (much to my annoyance) that the world works along a similar mindset.

But I just can't help but feel that something can and SHOULD be done to change that.... But by what right do I get to say who can do what they want and who can't? one could argue  "Free Will" and  Karma, and the Rede, but when a person's philosophy on life involves trampling on anyone who gets in their way, this is where i enter a grey area.

If you thrive on actively hurting or hindering other people's lives, just so you can be 'amused', then you're fucking around with their Free Will and that is something I cannot stand.

The Dark Moon is on the 3rd. A month ago, I placed a small Hex on this individual and it worked. I am deeply debating on whether or not I should do another one. The All-Father has yet to weigh in his opinion, although i do feel this is a sort of test. I'm hoping that the Norse Myths I'm currently reading will give me a clue, although there will be some serious meditation on the matter in the coming days.

Especially since I'll only have one day to grab any herbs from the Shop.

No sooner do I take out one of my Chocolate Raspberry Nips and offer it to the Old Man, than the wind dies down completely. It's not whiskey, but it works.

Old One-Eye Came to Visit

Last night, as just about everyone knows, was the Yuleclipse. For the first time in several hundred years (I've heard since 1348, 1654, and several other dates, depending on the sources) we had a Total Lunar Eclipse, on December 21st, The Winter Solstice and Longest night of the year, PLUS the second Full Moon to fall on a significant pagan Holiday ( Halloween was also on a Full Moon). I caught the first part of the moon waning, but by the time it was totally covered, the clouds had moved in overhead.

But, You bet your ass I did something special!

I had NEVER put so much planning and care into a ritual before. Normally I'm spontaneous or just have a basic idea and gather together my tools at the moment of Working. This time I went all out. Everything I'd thought about doing was confirmed by Blogomancy (Every other blog I was reading had a post about the very subjects I was thinking of working on for this ritual. If that's not confirmation from the Universe, IDK what is!). Forget Tarot or the Pendulum, Blogomancy is turning into a very fun form of divination!

What I wasn't expecting was a certain Deity to crash the party (altho I don't think it's too OOC for him).

Old One-Eye Himself.
Talk about feeling awkward, since I literally know NOTHING about Norse mythology.

He spoke to me through the only one-eyed vessel I had at the Altar:

-THIS- is going to be interesting.


Divine Party-Crashers aside, the whole ritual worked out to levels I did NOT expect. Even with the minor timing set backs of hunting down last-minute items (my figurines had fallen out of their box in the Water Closet, so B had to help me look) Merc. Retrograde didn't hinder me in the slightest. 

Although the playlists were a little spooky...

At one point, B came home and nearly interrupted my concentration early on, and I had to skip back 2 songs to get back into the mood. Half-way thru the first song, the track jumped to the next one, without my touching the iPhone at all. O.o After that, the music was in PERFECT synch with everything else. The entire playlist was just over 80mins long and I started it about 20 before the Eclipse was set to start.

I get the feeling a certain Old Man wanted me to hurry up and get to the good parts.

The entire thing was amazing, insightful, and worked out amazingly well. The fears and doubts of the last year have been burned away and scattered tot he winds. The Blessiungs have been written, tied to the Yule-Chunk** and spent the night charging under the Eclipse and in the morning sunlight. It will be burned in Mom's fireplace on Christmas Morning.

This is going to be an *Interesting* year.

** Yule-Chunk = Chunk of wind-storm-toppled Oak that died last spring. Too dry for carving, too small for a Log, it's a Yule Chunk this year.

Plotting and Planning

I have never put this much effort and preparation into my spell work,. This is going to be EPIC.

Don't Need To Tell Me Twice!

Jason Miller over at Strategic Sorcery posted this today.

According to Tibetan Shaman, the eclipse is caused by Rahulas, demonic planets, temporarily devouring the sun or moon so that they gain more power. Not only are your actions more powerful at this time, but they are more needed by the world because the eclipse is seen as moment of ill-omen leaving a gate open for negative influence.

Now you may not know this about me, but I am the mythic Yuleclipse Fairy. I need you to know a few things.

Tuesday is a lunar eclipse. It will be visible from most of North America

Tuesday is also the Winter Solstice - the longest night.

Tuesday is the first night that a lunar eclipse has occured on a Winter Solstice in 456 years.

Tuesday is the day that you will be outside doing magic.

If you don't do something I will know and I will be displeased.  You don't want to piss me off. Just get your lazy ass out there and meditate, cast a spell, dance a jig, do something!

 *Snaps to attention* SIR, YES, SIR! Talk about having your decisions confirmed by the Universe O.o

Note to Self

( Remember the visions last night. You are a Witch. They walk between the worlds. You live between the 2 worlds you know: the light and the Dark. You came from the Light, He comes from the Dark, but you both strive for some happy medium in between. Neither of you wants to descend into Darkness completely. You must learn to walk the Hedgerow of your world. Not just between the Worlds, but between the Urban and Suburban Worlds. You aren't out of the wilderness entirely, nor are you at the city limits. You are in the open plains between and you are both exposed and covered. You have to find the balanced point between the 2 worlds until you can rally the troops and head into the Light world.)

(You are NOT the Tree anymore. You are the Bird that lights on a branch, flies int eh Air, and still comes back to Earth for her nourishment. Stop spending so much time 'Grounding' or else you're going to be so Grounded that you become a peg.)

Battle Stations Ready.

iPod full of holiday music?
Check
Frankincense and Myrrh oil in the diffuser?
Check
Boxes of decorations?
Check
Tree?
Check
Extra lights and extension cord?
Check
Tape and tacks?
Check
Intoxicant of choice?
Check


Ok, cats, look the fuck out because Mommy is decorating for X-mas!



I don't celebrate Yule, or really even the Solstice, at least not formally. I prefer the celebration of X-Mas and reveling in the sheer amounts of sappiness I'm allowed to wallow in. This is the one time of year when I refuse to let the evils of the world get to me. When Miracles are possible and even the hardest of hearts can grow 3 sizes too large without requiring an EMT.

So if ya'll will excuse me, I'm going to go clear the living room, listen to Christmas Comedy songs, and put up the tree. If I can find my bottle of Forest Blend oil, then it will be perfect. If not, then Frank&Myrrh works just as well.

Free Birth Chart

Natal reading for 10/16/1983 in Northampton, MA

"How 'Bout a Little FIRE, Scarecrow?"

Fire is the one element that I am absolutely devoid of. Being pyrophobic is one possible answer as to why. Another is that, I'm pretty certain that I was burned at the stake (more than once) during my past lives.

I've always been a pretty easy-going person, never having to really exert myself to get what I want. The Universe provided a lot for me and I grew complacent. I've never had to really WORK towards anything. I've grown into this soft, complacent lump of an armchair occultist and had I not met my current partner, I think I would have happily stayed that way.

But being with B has forced me to embrace the Fire Element into my life, whether or not I wanted to in the first place.  He has all his Elements in (somewhat) of a balance. He seems driven more by Fire than anything else, much like a certain elemental I could name, but with the positive attributes of the other 3 as well. Now that things are finally starting to align and the Universe is working WITH us, rather than against us, I've had the time to reflect and see what it is that -I- need to start working on to make my life how I want it.

Time to tap into any latent Fire Energy I've got hovering around me.

Your Existing Situation

"He lacks the motivation to put forth effort in achieving her goals. she feels neglected and insecure and is seeking a loving, secure, problem-free environment."

Your Stress Sources

"Unfulfilled hopes have left her feeling uncertain and even a little fearful about the future. Needs to feel secure and avoid further disappointment; fears she will be looked over, lose her position, or lose respect. Has little hope that things will get better in time and her negative attitude leads her to place impossible demands on others or to compromise or bargain."

Your Restrained Characteristics

Feels unhappy and isolated because she is unable to succeed in finding the cooperation and understanding she desires.
Current situation is leaving her doubtful and cautions about becoming intimately involved with others.
Current situation is leaving her doubtful and cautions about becoming intimately involved with others.

Your Desired Objective

Looking for an escape from her problems and current conflicts. Needs a peaceful and safe environment so that she can relax and recover from the stress. Wants a life free from conflict and full of security and peace.

Your Actual Problem

"Is disappointed and let down, feels there is no point in making new goals as they will leave her feeling the same way. Looking for friendly, pleasant relationships with others, who will further develop her intellect. she needs to escape into an environment which is stable and secure and will allow her to relax and feel more at peace."

fuck that's accurate

<!--ColorQuiz.com code-->
<table border=1 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=3 bgcolor=white>
<tr><td><a href="http://www.colorquiz.com"><img border=0 alt=ColorQuiz.com src="http://www.colorquiz.com/images/colorquizlogosmall2.gif" width=120 height=32></a></td>
<td>Turkituck took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test!<p><i>"Looking for an escape from her problems and curren..."</i><p>
<a href="http://www.colorquiz.com/results.php?code=f,2,1,5,7,4,3,6,0,4,6,0,1,3,5,7,2,4,1&p=print&name=Turkituck">Click here</a> to read the rest of the results.</td></tr></table>
<!--End ColorQuiz.com code-->

Gobble Gobble Nom Nom Nom

 

Happy Thanksgiving!

Looking For a Mentor

 After many years of being an "Armchair Pagan" and reading anything I could get my hands on, I have come to the realization that I've gone as far as I can as a solitary. I have many pagan friends and acquaintances, but none of them have beliefs and methods that are even in the same ballpark that I do. At least, not that i"m aware of. My boyfriend, B, is a Satanist, and while I agree with many of their philosophies, I have purposefully stayed away from the rituals and magick of that particular belief system. While he has taught me a few basic techniques and tips, he really has no idea how to teach what he knows and it's frustrating to both of us. In the short time that he's been assisting me with the basics, I've finally reached a point where I KNOW I can go further, but I need someone to guide me who has gone down a similar path.

Having been a self-taught Eclectic for so many years, finding a name for my practices is hard. I'm not at all a ceremonial-type person, preferring the down and dirty magick workings with herbs, stones, sticks, energy, elements, and to a slight extent, Chaos Magick. I've been reading more and more about sex magick and have used a few of the techniques (as well as incorporating blood magick) into 1-2 major spells over the years. Not something that is a normal practice for me, but something I KNOW will work if I ever need fast results.



I need a mentor, but I have no idea where to look. I"m going to try sending this message to a few online Pagan groups I know  and see what happens. If nothing else, there may be someone out there who can point me in the right direction.

Tattoos

When I was little, my older brother got his first tattoos. I was very young and I couldn't understand why ANYONE would willingly have a bunch of needles inject ink into their skin. As much as I liked my brother's tattoos, anytime he joked about when I was going to get my own, I would practically throw a fit in my vehemence to declare that I would 'Never ever EVER" get inked.

A year and a half ago, I ate those words.

I had been wanting to get a tattoo for a while, toying with several ideas and designs, before finally narrowing down to two choices: A tribal fox tail or Michaelangelo of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Then Fenris died, and the choice was clear. I took Fenris' initials (N.R.F.) and created a memorial sigil for him. I added it to the perch that Mickey is sitting on and then began saving up to get the ink.

To the best of my knowledge, I'm the only one, so far, who has gotten a memorial tattoo for Fenris. It was something I HAD to do. It just felt RIGHT that my first tattoo have a double significance.

I've been wanting to get another tattoo for a while, I have this plan to get as much of my body modification done before I hit 30 as possible. Considering I got a late start by waiting till I was 24 to get my ears pierced, and given my own track record for being 10 years late for everything, I'll probably finish the transformation in time for my 40th birthday XD I had -thought- that the next piece I get done would be seven Fox pawprints going up my right leg.

The Universe, it seems, has other ideas.

Without getting too indepth (save it for another posting), the Universe has made it very clear that "One TMNT tattoo is NOT enough." I'm going to need the whole 'Set", so to speak. I've already started sketching the next one, and if I can budget myself over the next year, I will be getting it before my next birthday.

I highly doubt I'll be able to get so lucky as I did the first time, and have Mark Bode do my next one. It can't hurt to try, though ;)

Strega Noni

Strega Nona by Tommy dePaola. One of my favorite books from childhood..

My mother would have been burned at the stake 300 years ago for all that she knows. Nurse, Master Herballist, Clinical Aromatherapist, Doula, Teacher, M-Technique Practioner, Apothecary, My mom has done it all. Granted, when it comes to technology she's a horrific technophobe and is lucky when she can figure out the new toaster oven on the first day. She's also a witch, and she either refuses to acknowledge, or hasn't realized it yet.

But then she says things like she did today....

"You and B are going to be together for a long, long time. And there's going to be a child involved, down the line. I don't know when I'm going to get these little messages from Heaven, but you know how they are when I get 'em."

She also has a large (not as well kept as it used to be) garden, which is why B and I were over there today, raking leaves, and a hot tub. She has the ultimate Cauldron of Healing in her own backyard. She and my dad use it all the time, and even B and I have made use of it's Healing energies while house-sitting last winter.

My mom understands the plants and taught me when I was very little, to always ask permission before picking any flowers. She read me Irish fairy tales and Native American stories when I was a kid. She told me Fairies really did exist, and that anytime I was out in the woods and saw a flash of light in the corner of my eyes, that they were watching me.

So when she tells me that B and I are going to be together for a long time, and that we're going to have kids... Well, it's not something I wasn't already aware of, but it's really nice to see her own little visions corresponding with my own ;)

On Being A Late Bloomer, Of Sorts

One of my biggest laments of my life is that I'm always the last to see/hear/know about something. At work, at school, in my personal and family life, I am usually the least to be notified of anything, or whenever I discover something new or interesting, everyone else has known about it for a while already. I'm the last to jump on the bandwagon for things (blogging included) and I'm the one with the goofy look on her face when people say, "Yeah, didn't you know that already?"

It goes back to the very day of my birth. According to the doctor's calculations, I was born 10 days late. According to my Mother's calculations, I was nearly 2 weeks late. Personally, I'm glad I waited until Mid-October to be born; the weather is SO much nicer and the trees are in full color by then.

10 days late, almost 10 months in the womb, born in the 10th month of the year. And 10 minutes late to the party by all other accounts.

I was never a rebellious teenager, at least when compared to my siblings. My older brother and sister are 16 and 14 years older than I am, respectfully, so I learned how NOT to behave by watching them and taking mental notes: Don't have kids before you're ready, stay out of trouble with the law, and most importantly, DRUGS ARE BAD (m'kay). The most I ever rebelled over was homework, so all in all, I was a pretty easy-going kid.

I also spent my late-teens and early 20's in a stagnant relationship. I was engaged for nearly 7 years, and I missed out on a lot of experiences. In a lot of ways, I've felt very immature and young when around my friends. They all had the chances to act out, rebel, get drunk/high/laid while still underage and they faced that risk of punishment. I wanted to do all those things, but was held back for many reasons.

When the Ex-Fiance and I finally split, I admit, I kind of went a little goofy with my new-found freedom. I did my brief stint at sleeping around, drank a bit more than usual (going from no alcohol to at least 2 drinks a month. [Trust me, that was a lot for a me]), and dipping my toes into the world of mind-altering situations.

I would go into details, but honestly, when I talk about them to the few who are interested, I feel like everything I did was No Big Deal, at least to their perception. To me, going from the complacent, nearly-straight-edge person I was for so long, and actually experimenting with things, was a huge change. I was, and still am, very afraid of what my oldest friends would think of me if they knew. Would they be disappointed in me? Proud of me for opening myself up for new things? Or would they just be like "Been there, done that, no big deal." Some people I know are disappointed in the choices I've made in my life, and so I don't talk about it to them. They're aware of it, but I know they don't like it and so I don't mention it. Others (like my parents and immediate family) will NOT be made aware of these things AT ALL. While I've said that before, and when the truth came out, it was not the huge deal I thought it would be, I still have no desire to test the waters.

And yet, having these experiences 10 years after everyone else has given me the vantage point of knowing what the hell I'm getting into before hand. I know how far to go in my experimenting. I know better than to jump in head-first, I have the maturity to keep my eyes and ears and mind open, and to watch for danger in the water. I may be 10 years late to the party, but I'm getting a lot more out of it because I have the ability to step back and see what is a fun idea, and what is a stupid mistake. With age comes wisdom and impulse control.

Fantastical Foxy: Like I Never Left

Fantastical Foxy: Like I Never Left: "Even tho it was almost a week early, I got together with Feronia today. She sent me a text that Yotsuya wasn't going to be there and I was w..."

Like I Never Left

Even tho it was almost a week early, I got together with Feronia today. She sent me a text that Yotsuya wasn't going to be there and I was welcome to drop by for game night.

I thought it would be awkward, but thankfully it wasn't. I even sold one of the Fluff-Buns to Poohs and she wanted a custom order done as well. Apparently, it was declared that on nights when Yotsuya couldn't make it, then Poohs would much prefer having my company added to the mix.

I can't say as I find anything wrong with that idea ;)

Even tho this group is full to the brim with drama, it's at least the harmless stuff that doesn't really effect reality or people's safety. It's more annoying than anything else. The types of drama that B's friends seem to stir up is the kind that can get you thrown in jail, or have your kids taken from you. They don't play nice in the ghettos of Westfield.

Samhain Readings

Every year, on Halloween night, I do a Tarot reading to get an idea on what the coming year will bring. No set spread, just pulling 13 cards; one for every month of the year, and the final one for a general overlook on the future as a whole.

This year, i will be using the Dragon Tarot.

1) November: Ace of Coins - A new doorway opening up, workwise.
Very auspicious, since I have just finished up a rather successful 2 days of selling my artwork and sock-dolls at a convention. Sometime in Nov, my boyfriend, B, should be hearing news on if/when he will be getting his business grant.


2) December: Queen of Swords - A determined woman, but with a barrier between her and others.
I sense conflicts and struggles to be heard (again) and listened to (again). 

3) January: Nine of Coins - Gaining recognition in the eyes of others.
My artwork could take off again, or the Fluffbuns will sell. Or perhaps this will be when B finally proves his worth and my parents will finally respect him.

4) February: The Chariot - Caring, nurturing. Concentrate on your objectives, don't get side tracked.
  Now will be the time when all my plans and ideas are set in motion. I must keep going, use that drive and desire to succeed to finally manifest my dreams! I CAN do this!

5) March:  Ace of Cups - Emotional fulfillment. 
"Everything's coming up Milhouse!"

6) April: Six of Coins - Wanting to be generous, but the need to be more discriminating.
If the success the cards predict for the beginning of the year are accurate, then we will have an abundance of wealth and wellbeing this spring. But rather than spend lavishly like I desperately want to (and how I know Ezule Freda would love to see), the wisest course of action is to make sure to save enough away. Don't succumb to impulse buys, or retail therapy. Give a few donations, pay it forward, but don't go crazy. Clean the house and open it up to all the friends and family who have helped us along our way. 

7) May: The Magician - Putting across your message to a much wider audience. Reason.
The Magician makes the unreal become real. All he is in life, he has made himself. He has the Power and he wields it like a master craftsman. But do not put all your faith in him, for he is the one who knows where the cards are kept when you're not looking.

8) June : Knight of Coins - A man who wants to develop the work side of his life.
Either B will truly take off with the business, or someone who has that kind of savvy will enter my life.

9) July: Page of Cups - New Social Contacts.
Pregnancy? A Newborn Dragon emerging from ti's shell. Either I will come out of my own shell and meet new people, or possibly... something may come out of me.

10) August: Four of Wands - Working with others towards a common purpose.
I see this could be where the New Social Contacts, or the Man who wants to develop his work life will truly come into play. Energies will combine into something we are all striving for.

11) September: Eight of Wands - Things around you speeding up.
This is where the Chariot really takes off and goes flying down the road. All efforts are doubled, all parties involved should be giving the project their all if it is to work. Now is a busy time and we're all burning the candles at both ends. We must take care not to burn out too quickly. Be the steady bonfire, not quick candle.

12) October: Page of Wands - Learning and traveling.
All the momentum has been building during the summer, and now is the time to ride it in! Don't let the world just pass you by, you have to learn all you can while you're in the place. We got the ball rolling, now it's time to see where it will take us.

13) Overview : Four of Swords - The lifting of tensions.
The coming year will be busy! The focus this year is on finances and drive. I have little to no Fire energy in my own life, so this year, the fires have been lit under me, but it's not a BBQ. This time, I'm the one controlling the fire and if I keep watch and tend it, adding more fuel as needed, poking the ashes and not letting it go out, I will see my dreams begin to manifest themselves this year.