After many years of being an "Armchair Pagan" and reading anything I could get my hands on, I have come to the realization that I've gone as far as I can as a solitary. I have many pagan friends and acquaintances, but none of them have beliefs and methods that are even in the same ballpark that I do. At least, not that i"m aware of. My boyfriend, B, is a Satanist, and while I agree with many of their philosophies, I have purposefully stayed away from the rituals and magick of that particular belief system. While he has taught me a few basic techniques and tips, he really has no idea how to teach what he knows and it's frustrating to both of us. In the short time that he's been assisting me with the basics, I've finally reached a point where I KNOW I can go further, but I need someone to guide me who has gone down a similar path.
Having been a self-taught Eclectic for so many years, finding a name for my practices is hard. I'm not at all a ceremonial-type person, preferring the down and dirty magick workings with herbs, stones, sticks, energy, elements, and to a slight extent, Chaos Magick. I've been reading more and more about sex magick and have used a few of the techniques (as well as incorporating blood magick) into 1-2 major spells over the years. Not something that is a normal practice for me, but something I KNOW will work if I ever need fast results.
I need a mentor, but I have no idea where to look. I"m going to try sending this message to a few online Pagan groups I know and see what happens. If nothing else, there may be someone out there who can point me in the right direction.
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